if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Found your dick twin last night
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
