i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
