First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
its not stalking. its research.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
