Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize