Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
