Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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