Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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