So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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