Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
