Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
