So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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