Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
