ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
me + whiskey = a bad person
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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