who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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