just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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