Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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