One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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