I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize