I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
