No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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