Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
