There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
