come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
