I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
