There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
