She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
