I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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