Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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