I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
