We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
