I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
