If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
there is another microwave in the elevator.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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