he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
