Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
