Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
