yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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