You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
