Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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