She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
