You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
