actually, I'm a sock model
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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