Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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