Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
You smell like stripper and shame
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
