Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
