Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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