Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
