Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
