I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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