tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
