No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
