Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
