she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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