i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
