found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
