My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
