So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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