pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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