It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
