we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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