i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
