Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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