Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
