i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
