On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
