does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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