i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
