We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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