why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize