Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
